Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Dear Angela, you got to face reality!

Pondering on your current issue, Angela, some wise words of T.S. Eliot came to mind. “Humankind cannot bear very much reality.”

Just look at us trying to cope with reality. We pep ourselves with coffee, tea, coke, cigarettes, vitamins, chocolates, candies, snacks, issues-of-others, encouraging quotes and even with Bible scriptures. At the end of a day, sometimes before or after the end, we fall into escape-mode and drug ourselves with TV programs, Internet sites, cell-phone-applications, books, music, obsessive-compulsive doings, tranquillizers, alcohol, porn, sex, or, if we are lucky, true love
and spiritual activities.

Angela, do you think this is reality? Let me quote the social psychologist, David G. Myers: “There is an objective reality out there, but we view it through the spectacles of our beliefs, attitudes, and values.”

Alan Hale confirmed: “Reality is determined not by what scientists or anyone else says or believes, but by what the evidence reveals to us.”

Your current issue: Martin’s way of coping with reality and, of course, your response -

Let me quote Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, and please, regard his words as a warning in disguise: “Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real and the ideal never goes unpunished.”

Just to make you smile, some quotes of the American actress/comedian Lily Tomlin:
“Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.”
“Reality is a crutch for people who can’t cope with drugs.”
“Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.”

Now, Angie, let’s get serious again: God wants us to be happy - Eccl. 2:24; 3:12-13,22; 5:18-19; 9:9; 1 Pet. 3:10; 3 John. 2. At the same time He wants us to be holy - 2 Cor. 7:1; Eph. 1:3-4; Heb. 12:10; 1 Pet. 1:15,16; 1 Pet. 2:5,9; 2 Pet. 3:11.

My favorite, John 10:10: “I came that you may have and enjoy life and have it in abundance, until it overflows.”

So honey, if you are unhappily married, you are not doing God’s will. But then, divorce is also not God's will - (Matthew 5:32). This means you are indeed between the devil and the deep blue sea. You have to decide what will of God you are going to follow.

Perhaps it is easier to simply face reality and tackle the challenges it has in stock for you.

Love you,
Mom.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Dear Angela, the truth is but only an interpretation


Your current issue, actually crisis, disturbed me in such a way that I've spent today hours studying the topic ‘TRUTH’.

Yes, Angela, I fell to pieces while I was reading your mail and I almost died of sorrow while I read Marten’s. It was like witnessing both of you dying in a horrible freak accident. The words of Kahlil Gibran came to mind: “When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”

So I took some Valium (Bible) and a stiff drink (prayer), and woke up this morning with a hangover which urged me to drink too much coffee (philosophical and psychological articles).

So let’s focus on TRUTH. According to the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche: “All things are subject to interpretation. Whatever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth.” He also said: “All credibility, all good conscience, all evidence of truth come only from the senses.”

Let’s make sure we understand the meaning of the word interpretation.

  • According to WordWeb interpretation is a mental representation of the meaning or significance of something.  
  • According to the writer and public speaker Anthony Roberts, “You see, it’s never the environment, it’s never the events of our lives, but the meaning we attach to the events, (thus) how we interpret them, that shapes who we are today and who we’ll become tomorrow.”  
  • Margaret J Wheatley stressed: “Everyone in a complex system has a slightly different interpretation. The more interpretations we gather, the easier it becomes to gain a sense of the whole.”  
  • Edward Sapir once said: “We see and hear and otherwise experience very largely as we do because the language habits of our community predispose certain choices of interpretation.”
So, let suffice it to say what people declare as ‘the truth’, is but only their personal interpretation of an issue. They see their interpretation as a motivation and even instruction from God to improve OR destroy themselves and others.
So what can I say about you and Martin, confronting each other with truths (in other words, with your personal interpretations)?

The only truth I can see is your unhappiness, and this is my interpretation of you and the situation you are in.




Love you,
Mom.



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Sunday, June 5, 2011

Dear Angela, let's talk about choices

No path of life is a direct line to one’s destiny. They all have many forks and t-junctions, forcing us to make choices. Left or right?

The warnings are all over: Beware of potholes, mud holes, swamps, bumps, sharp curves, steep climbs and slumps, cliffs and falling rocks, insurmountable mountains (use detours), deep rivers and broken bridges (use catamarans), thorns, nails, wild animals and all kinds of danger! Please note: All paths of life are dangerous, however passable for those who have acquired knowledge and wisdom.

So Angela, once again you have reached a t-junction and you have no choice but to make a choice. Left or right?



I know you are old enough to make your own choices, but surely I may inform you of all possible dangers. I may even tell you what I would have done in your shoes. But being you, Angela, a headstrong individual with her own ideas and ideals, you will practice the typical human trend you’ve started to practice at the age of two: “I want to do it myself the way I want to do it.”

Typical human you will rather listen to your friends, while friends don’t even realize that they are not really leading each other with advice. They are merely testing their own – and even bragging with their own - capability of making wise choices. You should always remind yourself that nobody but you are walking in your shoes; only your heart beats in your chest; only your mind functions between your ears.

However, Angela, you have to obtain as much as possible opinions and suggestions. In other words, you have to become acquainted with the knowledge and wisdom of others, even if they are sketchy and obscure.

Add them to your own –
those ideas of others -
let it fill your brain.
Then pass it through your heart –
the strainer and separator
of wheat and chaff.
Never underestimate your gut feeling –
that sixth sense of yours –
for that is the finest sieve
preventing crumbs
of chaff
to keep you in doubt.
Then, clearly visible
you will see
the best choice
you can make.

As always, Angela, I share two of my favorite scriptures about the topic with you.

Isaiah 43:1-3: “.... Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I’ll be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God....”

Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.”

Love you,
Mom.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Dear Angela, crucify your ego!


Reviewing my past, I can clearly see that every person l was in contact with, even those I have seen an heard for only a couple of minutes, maybe at a meeting, or at a concert, were in fact my life instructors. Because of them, thanks to them, due to them, I am today who/what I am. This is more or less what the Africans means with their word 'Ubuntu'. “People are people through people.”  

And I am still learning how to be me, as I am growing all the time.

Today His Lordshit demean me to a liar, and he called me ‘white trash’. Instead of being kind, humble, meek, merciful, longsuffering, forbearing and forgiving – (Col.3:12-13) – like Jesus when he was accused by the chief priest and the elders – (Matt.27:12) – I lost my temper and fiercely defended my good reputation.

Now, almost midnight, I grasp the lesson he had taught me: "Crucify your ego! If someone calls you a liar, while you know your are not a liar, don't get upset. Hold on to your dignity because it is more precious than the opinion of another person.

You know, Angie, I always end my letters to you with one of my favourite Bible scriptures, but tonight I’m going to quote Albert Einstein: "Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish".

Love u!
Mom.

(Photo by renjith kishman @ freedigitalphotos.net)